8th April - Learning
It's Day 1 of Cycle 2. Pat is in the chair again, receiving his chemo doses, and I'm back in the cafeteria. I grab a window seat so that I can stare outside and pretend to not be here. Pat's not so lucky. No windows and the patient's chairs all face towards each other. There is no visual escape from the stark reality of cancer.
We are in the learning phase of this journey. We are learning what life with chemo treatment looks like. We are learning that Pat will feel lousy the few days after, start to recover a little, and then hit another low from day 7 to 10. He feels his best just two days before the next chemo hit. Knowing this, we can plan to do fun things when Pat is good, and to bunker down when he is not.
You'd think we'd know everything about diet by now but we now need to go to a deeper level, literally. Appreciating how the pancreas and the digestive system works is vital to ensure Pat is properly hydrated and getting the right levels of carbs, protein, vitamins and minerals. So every meal, snack and drink is assessed in order to give Pat's body the best opportunity to cope with the onslaught.
However, the biggest learning is how to cope mentally, and doing so together. We found this aspect to also be critical to success when we were racing two handed offshore. On those long journeys, there would be a low point for each of us. These low points would come at different times, exhibit themselves in different ways, and needed different strategies to lift out of again. We learnt this about ourselves and each other, so that we could support the other when we were low. Knowing this, we work together now again, to share new kinds of lows and to come up with new ways to support each other to get out of them.
The process of learning is a challenge in itself. Finding the right professional, at the right time, is not easy. We need to be in the right frame of mind to receive the information when we cross paths with the person who can give it. As we learn, we discover new questions to ask and search for new experts to answer them. One very helpful information source has been a not-for-profit called PanCare. They've connected us with the top people in the "upper gastro intestinal" field of medicine. It was a relief to connect with them and we are extremely grateful for their help.
Most of all, we have learnt to live a new life. We've had to reduce the farm workload: less sheep, no chickens & ducks just yet, employed a part-time gardener. We have a strict meal plan and rest often.
One thing that hasn't changed - we continue to self-isolate because getting Covid could be fatal for Pat.