7th Oct - F*ck!

This is truly a journey. One with ups, downs, twists and turns. I thought that the first few weeks of our journey back in February were the hardest part. Last week, we had to cover some more rough ground.

The operation was scheduled for last Monday... and then cancelled. Pat had severe pains two weeks ago and went to hospital. Tests showed kidney stones with complications. A small procedure relieved the pressure and Pat was kept a few nights for observation. This was not going to stop the operation from going ahead.

However, while in hospital, Pat had a scan done as prep for the planned operation on the cancer tumour. Just before being released, the surgeon came by with the news that lesions were found in Pat's liver and the abdominal area. This means that the cancer had metastasized (spread beyond the tumour) and therefore an operation was no longer an option.

We went home stunned. To have allowed our hopes to get up, only to then get dashed, was devastating. There was only one word for it: F*ck!

It was already planned that Pat's son, Jamie, would visit last week. His arrival was very welcome and we were sad to wave goodbye yesterday. He managed to lift our spirits, distract us from the wait and helped us with a few tasks around the farm. We appreciated that he was there to ease this part of the journey.

What now? An appointment with the Oncology doctor is scheduled for midday today. It's been an anxious 10 day wait. The options for stage 4 cancer are limited and we fear our time is now short.