2nd Sept - Time for a break

The spring sun angles through our kitchen window onto where I sip my morning cup of tea. Pat is enjoying the rays from his favourite chair, reading a book. We are not at the hospital and that is a good thing.

The meeting with oncology took an unexpected turn. Pat is having a chemo break. The scan showed the tumour had not changed. We were hoping for a shrinking of the tumour but the doctors are more looking at it not growing and the cancer not spreading. The blood indicators are also remaining stable. The doctor told us that Pat has been handling the heavy chemo doses quite well in comparison to most. It's allowed them to keep the dosage high which has halted the cancer cells. However, the chemo is taking a toll on both Pat's body and his spirit, therefore the medical decision is to stop chemo treatment, for now.

The break is for 4 weeks (2 treatments) and then we re-assess. There is no guarantee that the cancer will stay dormant. If it does, then we repeat the "4 week break and reassess" sequence. If it doesn't, then... options will be discussed at that point.

The break will give Pat's body a chance to recover from the chemo poison. It'll allow his veins to heal, the nerve endings in his hands and feet to revive and his strength to return. His physical health will improve and hopefully his mental health too. Being tired all the time and feeling his body waste away has had a depressing effect.

In the doctor's office, hearing the unexpected decision was a shock. I had prepared myself to face some tough decisions and instead we got relief. It's taken a few days to process it. Four weeks of no visits to the hospital, no pathology and no living on the chemo-effects roller coaster. Four weeks of Pat getting gradually stronger.

The certainty of the end result still looms. The cancer is there and it will eventually win this fight. Nevertheless, we've been given the gift of 4 weeks (maybe more) to enjoy spring.