24th Oct - Surrounded by caring

We are at the stage of dealing with the spreading cancer. Our world is honing in on care for Pat. I have pulled back from most of my volunteering and I am mostly on leave from my work. Pat focuses on eating right, getting exercise and resting. Gratefully, he manages to put some energy into his art.

A new cancer growth caused a blockage in Pat's bowels. We were faced with the choice: 1. do nothing and Pat can no longer eat, or 2. surgery to see if they can remove the blockage (and all the risk, pain and recovery that comes with that). We still have fight in us, so Pat had the operation yesterday. A nervous day's wait for me, then a big sigh of relief at 6pm when told that the blockage was removed. I was allowed to visit Pat, and he also looked very relieved to have all systems flowing again.

All this, after lots of hospital visits last week including two operations, one for removing the stent they put in to resolve his kidney stone problem, and the second to insert a port because Pat has no usable veins in his arms anymore. Poor Pat! Having needles put into him is now such a nightmare. Meanwhile, I now know my way around Austin, Box Hill and Maroondah hospitals and where the best coffee, late night food and parking spots are.

With bowel and kidney stone problems taking priority, the chemo treatment was unfortunately postponed. We managed to meet with the new oncologist, Margaret, having decided to move Pat's treatment to the Lilydale clinic. It's a smaller clinic but the staff are more constant and personable. We like Margaret's direct manner and we trust her. Having a good relationship with the treating doctor is very important and something that was missing previously.

Margaret advised to shift to different chemo drugs. We don't know how the cancer, or Pat's body, will respond but we will give it a go. The disease has spread to Pat's liver and abdominal area, so all that we can hope for from the chemo is to prolong life, but not at cost of reducing quality of living. As soon as he's recovered enough from yesterday's surgery, we want to start.

We haven't quite moved to the palliative care phase but it's looming and we are already talking to the palliative care nurse about how to prepare. One thing that is clear from these past two weeks is our need for more support. Fortunately, we are surrounded by a caring community of neighbours, friends and family. We are so blessed to be receiving so much warmth and kindness. Whether it's some help with the farm or around the house, someone to talk to or get a hug from, or lovely messages to know that you are thinking of us. We are receiving lots of love and that sense of being "surrounded by caring" bolsters our strength to get through each day.